PRESS RELEASE: LEICESTER 14 Jan 2022 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Obscure freakshow post-punk band 9 o'clock Nasty today wish to apologise to their fans, non-fans and the world media about parties held on their premises "Koala Studios."
Pete Brock, guitarist and raconteur stated
I wish to apologise for any feelings you may have as a result of my feelings about the alleged but unconfirmed party event held apparently against my will and to which I may possibly have attended. Furthermore I wish to apologise for the trumpet playing on 16 occasions and for breaking the neighbour's children's swing in a nocturnal bare-chested event at some point earlier in my life.
Sydd Spudd, beatmaster and devil-wrangler added
I also need to set the record straight. I have no no knowledge of the party that I attended that may have happened. I found myself drawn into the party. I could not help it. I think it was a work event not a social gathering. I have asked Pete Brock to investigate and I will also be investigating his behaviour.
Ted Pepper, bassman and enigmatic future traveller whispered
Sorry. Sorry for the impact that the suggestions may have had on people that were not at any party that may or may not have happened. Sorry. Any and all messages relating to the non happening party which was in fact a work event. I will be awaiting the result of investigations by my co-workers into each other's behaviour before making any further statement.