Welcome to the 9 o'clock nasty

Monday 30 August 2021

Have You TikTokked Today?


Do you use TikTok? Be honest now, do you? Or does it use you? We went there in search of another channel to reach listeners and we've been impressed at how well put together it is for content creators and how rapidly an audience can grow. We still get significantly more plays on Instagram and IGTV, but TT is catching up.

People tell us that it is a media for a different generation: True, if you decide not to engage with it.

They also say it is full of videos of dogs, lip syncing, semi-erotic dancing and awful jokes. That bit is mostly true, but if you scroll long enough you'll get a 9 o'clock Nasty tune, possibly one we haven't released yet!

We're still learning which songs and what kind of presentation works for TikTok, but as they say, "it's a journey."

If you do decide to give it a go, please do give us a follow, we are (of course) @9oclocknasty 

Sunday 29 August 2021

Free Track for September


We're happy to announce that the free mp3 for September will be an extended dance mix of Gammon v Pilgrim produced by none other than DJ Nasty himself. The song is painfully relevant now as the GammonSphere coils itself up to fury over the idea of innocent people fleeing for their lives might need help. Still suppose articles raising fear of immigrants gets clicks, and clicks means cash.

So anyway, the remix is awesome. We probably won't make it available in other ways for a good long time with all the other stuff we have ready to release. So to get it, free, you just need to sign up for our newsletter.

You may have questions. Hopefully the ones we have answered below.

Won't you spam us out of existence once you have our details?

No. We will only publish one newsletter a month to the subscribers. It is about a page of text and links to stuff. Mostly it is information about what we are up to and entertainment. There genuinely is material we do not put out anywhere else.

Do we get discounts on stuff?

Thank you for asking. Not at the moment. When our debut album "Catch Nasty" is released, the physical CD version will be very limited edition. Subscribers will get first dibs on ordering.

But is my data safe?

Neat question. We're not convinced that much data is safe, but that is a whole other story. In terms of what we collect and store, we only hold the email address of the subscriber, nothing else. We will not use it for anything else or share it with anyone else. That is an unconditional promise. One email a month related to 9 o'clock Nasty stuff, no more, no less.

Why? Aren't newsletters super-old fashioned?

We're on all the social media we can be bothered with. Facebook, IGTV, Insta, TikTok, Twitter. We draw the line at LinkedIn. They are all good vehicles for interacting with people and getting found. but they are also capricious and nervous things. People get banned from them for sometimes quite flimsy reasons and it does seem that if you rely on them, you will eventually get fucked over. So..... we wanted a newsletter as an alternative way to reach people that like what we do that is less under the control of the corporate monsters. Also, a newsletter allows us to share things that don't work in social media and doing it once a month means it isn't a total pain the buttocks.

But all your songs are free to download, what's the deal with the "free one" for members?

We will charge for physical media, because they cost us money to make. We're happy to make mp3s available because not everyone likes to use the streaming services. But we have a metric shit ton of material we haven't put out yet. Sorry that would be a tonne if it is metric. Once a month it is nice to share one of the things we aren't ready to put out for a while to people that will enjoy it. Past releases have included Say No To Funk, which is our next single, and Terror Couple Kill Colonel, the Bauhaus song, that is not on any of the streaming services.

If you have more questions then join the mailing list and then you'll get our super-secret email address and you can ask more!

Saturday 28 August 2021

Unspool My Heart, Reviewed on OS Garotos de Liverpool in their singles roundup

It's hard to say why, but sitting on your sofa in Leicester and reading a review on a Brazilian website is a special kind of fun. With the aid of Google Tanslate here is an extract:

Directly from Leicester, they recently launched the "Dry" EP on major streaming platforms.

In this work, we have the track 'Unspool My Heart', which features a sound that flirts between indie rock, melodic and art, over almost 2min30s.

Leicester's Art-Indie collective manages to insult virtually every demographic group in this, its second release, but always with naïve kindness, energy and memorable melodies.

Our thanks to Os Garotos.

Thursday 26 August 2021


The 20% off all our merch offer ends Friday 27th August at midnight,. Until then, this and other magnificent t shirts are down to £11.99. Head over to our online store for this and more.

Wednesday 25 August 2021

Gammons Rage Against Pilgrims


(see note in footer about this image)

As the GammonSphere begins the drumbeat of "huff huff huff" over human beings who are fleeing for their safety (to make money with clickbait and hatebait, this is purely business and not personal) we felt now was a good time to refer our lovely listeners to Gammon v Pilgrim.

Strangely if you think of immigrants or asylum seekers as pilgrims searching for food, water, law and order, it does put a different frame around some of the news-nonsense.

PS we were supposed to be letting the article plugging our t-shirts for £11.99 take centre stage today, so if you're reading this instead, we have t-shirts going cheap until Friday. They're good ones.

Regarding the image

We did doctor the screenshot above. Full disclosure, we didn't want to give the company that chooses to advertise any extra pixels (it was Boots and shame on them for advertising on such odious websites) so we have cropped the advert out.

Imagine, TWELVE people in fear of their lives having a house big enough for them to live in. 

Monday 23 August 2021

Get Nasty Shirts. £11.99 this week


20% off all our merch this week, meaning this and other magnificent t shirts are down to £11.99. Head over to our online store for this and more.

Rising Artists Review "Growl"


Jaye at Rising Stars kindly posted a review of Growl this weekend.

Reviews are brilliant as they involve all the pleasure of talking about yourself with none of the effort, and this one is lovely.

9 o’clock Nasty….A name as unique as their music. The three piece group from Leicester, UK have been taking advantage of their ability to work hard, showcasing on the fact that they can release three EPs in three months. “Growl”, their most recent release, has three songs with a very eclectic taste, they are definitely extending the musical boundaries.

Three in three? Hold My Beer! We have two more months with EPs (Dust, and Cut) our first album and about six other songs that will be out this side of the Pagan Yule Celebrations. One of the joys of living above a studio (even if it is the world's smallest one) is the ability to kick out a constant stream of gems.

“Who the hell is Monstruosa?"

That indeed is a good question.

The honest answer is that Monstruosa is Enos, the cheese plant that co-habits with the mixing desk and kicks out oxygen whilst seemingly eating flies.  Apparently they are properly called "Monstera Deliciosa" but Ted misread it and called the song Monstruosa by mistake. Alternatively it is the beautiful yet terrifying embodiment of death, welcomes at the end of a long and happy life when your time has finally come and you accept it with relief and a little joy.

“Big Fish (In a Pool of Piss)”. This joyous tune reminds you that it’s always important to be on top because one day you may just end up in a shitty pool. If you’re going to be in the shit you might as well be on top.

This is our favourite review of Big Fish so far. 

Saturday 21 August 2021

9ON Erotica Launches With "Cream & Pickle...."


We are delighted to announe the first release from our publishing house Ass & Futtock, a high-concept Redacted Erotica entitled "Cream and Pickle, Slap and Tickle.

We expect the book to hit bookshops around the world before Christmas but we pledge here and now that electronic versions will be made available through the band website free and forever.

Redacted Erotica is mostly safe to read at work (MSFW) and allows you to co-create your darkest sexual fantasies within the framework of sensual tension created by the authors. This is Smut! This is Art!

Written by esteemed Author G'Ourd May in collaboration with band-member and polymath Ted Pepper, this is the first in a series that will take you to places within yourself that you have barely considered. Prepare your ardour for a rude awakening.

Friday 20 August 2021

Banned: For Custard


The saga of 9 o'clock Nasty bans from Only Fans continues and indeed reaches new heights of arbitrary censure. The band, determined to monetise their edgier media content, to go alongside a planned release or erotic fiction under their Ass & Futtock publishing arm, submitted a 7 minute video for paying members to enjoy for £29 only to have it ripped away before even a single paid view had taken place.


It seems that three naked men, in their own home, cannot film themselves eating from a huge bowl of bright yellow custard and put it on the internet anymore. The Piece "This Is The Real Yellow" featured a re-imagining of the ColdPlay song, with bubbles, dairy product and the sound of men baying for a better life.

If a spokesperson for OnlyFans had been contacted they probably would have made no comment.

Thursday 19 August 2021

New Unspool My Heart Video


Play Video On YouToob

Nature abhors vacuums. And songs without a video. So here is one for our most played song, Unspool My Heart. 

The Other Side said:

‘Unspool My Heart’ has a very different feeling to the opening track with the almost preppy opening. The chanting vocals and thrumming guitar have you bopping to the track. There is a wonderful contrast in the vocals with the retro easy melodic flow and a calling line overlapping. This brings a dichotomy to the track that is reminiscent of the world and how many people see others. The guitar line that comes in later has a warm feeling to it that, without fail, will put a smile on your face.

...and we can't argue with that. Some songs are hard work to write and record but you slowly abrade your way to the jewel underneath. Unspool popped cackling out of the delirium of a wet Tuesday night and filled the room with warmth and dark humour.

Monday 16 August 2021

Screaming Hearts add Monstruosa to Playlist


Thank you to Screaming Hearts to adding Monstruosa to their playlist. Happy Days.

Extra Nasty: 9 o'clock Nasty newsletter out now


We've just sent out our first newsletter.  Sign up here. 

The newsletter includes general band news, free new material (an mp3 file we either will never release or will only release several months in the future, so a genuine exclusive) and general nonsense. Short and to the point. In the future we'll look at gig dates and stuff there too.

There is no spam, no adverts and the list of members will never be shared or used for anything other than... the band newsletter! Once a month, every month.

So please do join Team Nasty!  Sign up here. 

Sunday 15 August 2021

Danzig Krupp Calls our Terror Couple Kill Colonel cover "the perfect tribute"


Herr Krupp continues to be the most dangerous man in Western music. He has relaunched Dark Strudel from his new UK address with no social media and no promotion and yet we understand has had hundreds of readers every day.

We adored him the moment we met him in a roadside bar before our debut gig in Bavaria, the pine needle crispy underfoot. He seemed like a genius that had lost his way, but we admit to a certain annoyance that our secret friend has begun to once more spread his words without showering us with his undivided attention.

Anyway, we did persuade him (pay him, the price of a review was a pizza without guarantees he would like it, his negative reviews are as cruel as they are impenetrable) to listen to some of our new stuff and he picked a side-project to write about.

We did Terror Couple Kill Colonel, the Bauhaus song, a couple of weeks ago for shits and giggles. It is a good song and we wanted to put our own imprint on it. We didn't include it on an EP but made it available on YouTube and have had some lovely messages from people of the Goth persuasion over the internet since. We may do a covers record soon and it would fit well on that.

Either that or we'll put our own words to it....

Anyhoo, Danzig was both kind and comprehensible in his review.

"A song about sex and death that sounds exactly that. The result is a triumph."

Must admit, we hadn't thought of it in quite that way until we read the words but it is sort of.... wriggly and it is definitely about a fascination with death. Triumph is not the kind of word we have thrown at us, so we will put it in a frame and feed it sweet nectar.

"The bass plays the same notes but executes them with fearless precision in a new structure that shakes the soul. The lyrics are whispered in a lover's ear to playfully terrify them in the dark of the night. The guitar teases and beguiles with that curious psychedelic-jazz mix that 9 o'clock Nasty have deployed so successfully in their first three EPs."

I am really not sure how Pete Brock will react to his guitar playing being described as "jazz" but it's fine praise.

Have a listen, the only available copy on the internet is the YouTube one above. If you're a Bauhaus fan let us know what you think. Did we do justice?

Saturday 14 August 2021

The Other Side reviews Dust: "9 o’clock Nasty blends energy, kindness, naivety and insults into memorable music"

The Other Side (a music site we would strongly recommend, believe us we have looked at a lot this past three months) have written a beautiful review of our July release "Dry."

Please go read it all. We could cherry pick a few lines that really made us whoop (we whoop at lot at the Orbiting HQ but never in the Koala Studio, it makes Jethro wince), but Claudia spent time putting it together and it merits a proper read.

Instead we will just pull-quote one part because it relates to the song on the EP that has had less attention, Sick Child.

‘Sick Child’ opens with a sound bite that gets a wash of easy rock guitars. There is a slightly retro vibe to the guitars as they call out into the soundscape. The vocals continue this retro vibe as you slowly spiral into their thrall. The single really throws your mind back in time to the rock tones of the 60s. The energy in the vocals will make you want to sing along, particularly on the chorus. You may also feel the urge to turn the volume up to blare the track as you shout out.

The use of the word "tones" is interesting We don't set out to write songs with a 60s vibe (we probably couldn't if we tried) but we are using ancient analogue equipment and you do get a different tonality out of those big old multi-track machines that don't come out of digital. We are a little trapped out of time and celebrate that.

We're hoping so much that she'll review Growl sometime soon.

Friday 13 August 2021

Growl reviewed on Os Garotos de Liverpool


Os Garotos de Liverpool added us to a list of ten released to review this week, which is a pleasure (we are tingled at the number of visits to this site from Brazil over the last 10 days, we can perhaps dream of gigging in Rio).

Olá, fique desagradável.

Translation from Spanish we can have a good go at, sadly Portuguese required a trip to Google Translate (commitment from Ted, if we get to gig in Brazil he will learn the language!).

They bring an original and unique sound to the dark, garage rock, post-punk, synthesizer and lo-fi elements, passing through the influence of the Pixies in the opening track, featuring a groovy and prominent bass in 'Walkman Walk', in addition to going through aspects of trip-hop on the final track.

Thank you OS Garrotos. 

Thursday 12 August 2021

Indie Criollo - 10 recommendations for the Demanding Listener

We were really happy to feature in this article on Indie Criollo and their daily listing of ten recommended bands.

For those that were not listening in Mr Berry's Spanish lessons we offer a basic translation here. Any mistakes are entirely intentional.

Monstrous arrives here thanks to the British band 9 o'clock Nasty, who deliver us one of those songs that destroy anyone's mind and can't be stopped by anything.The heart of this band is the intention to destroy everything, which needs you you need to challenge the fear of anyone and unleash your freedom before garage-rock, which this band carries as a flag to encourage you to feel empowered to corrupt the atmosphere and destroy everything without fear of consequences. The singer is really hot.

We didn't send the site any kind of press release so to read their take on the song is instructive. To us it is all about resignation and being prepared for something to end when you've drained the last drop of happiness from it. Now, if you want to hear us sing a song about destroying absolutely everything, we have an EP all about that theme ("Get Into Them") due in a few months. But that is another story. 


Wednesday 11 August 2021

Growl Tee


To celebrate the release of our third EP we've made a limited run of this tee shirt available. Head over to our online store for this and more. With the discount it is a LOT less than £19.99 now! (£14.99 in fact)

Big Fish on the Less Than 1000 Followers Playlist


Nice to see another playlisting - this time the rather cool Less than 1000 Followers playlist for Big Fish in a Pool of Piss, which is frankly the most-fish related song on there. We will certainly be checking out the Devil's Avocado later....

Tuesday 10 August 2021

The Bombardier Billy Wells Show

We listened to the Bombardier Billy Wells show last night because we thought we might be on it.*  But we enjoyed every minute of the music and banter and we cannot suggest more strongly that you should play it as the background to your day right now. We especially enjoyed Danger! High Voltage by Electric 6 but it was pretty much all killer. There isn't enough alternative radio as good as this - listen to it, follow it, cherish it. Every Monday.

*we were.

Second OnlyFans Suspension for the Nasties


In a second, crushing, blow to the 9 o'clock Nasty's attempt to monetise their more erotic media content, the global top-shelf-member platform has again suspended the band's account. Following the initial 5 day ban for over-use of gongs, this second ban means that the dark sensuality of Pete Brock's masterpiece of suggestive manipulation "Watch If You Must But Close Your Eyes" - a 14 minute short film created with Yurichi Sukkimoto and featuring a 9 o'clock Nasty instrumental soundtrack, cannot be made available on a pay-per-view basis.

The signature shot of the film, a 18 minute high speed drone  flypast over Bradgate Park fell foul of the censorious censors due to a flicker of nudity in which Brock chases a plastic bag whilst butt-naked as the sun rises over Old Tom.

Ted Pepper, emerging from the bowels of Koala Studio after 21 hours mixing the Nasty's cover version of the Bauhaus classic "Terror Couple Kill Colonel" commented with severe blears:

"We would rather be true to our content, than cover up Pete's magnificent body. Ever since he was a little boy he dreamt of hurtling over the wet grass bare-foot and bare-butt and his art cannot be silenced. Well actually that is exactly what has happened. But fear not, as soon as the suspension ends we will begin sharing edgy material that is too dark for open-access media."

No effort whatsoever was made to contact OnlyFans about this article, except for opening the kitchen window and sullenly whispering their name three times.

Nasty, out.

Monstuosa Added to the "Noir" Playlist


And a lovely playlist of tunes it is too! 🌒 Noir Playlist - playlist by Edgar Allan Poets | Spotify

Monday 9 August 2021

Edgar Allen Poets are that interesting thing, band online who seem to have swerved into music reviewing for themselves. It's an interesting site. Of course we find it even more interesting because they reviewed us! A kind and fair review it is too.

A compositional style that takes its cue from bands of the past but that at the same time adds avant-garde and modern nuances that make it unique. 

We argued for almost half a minute about whether we are avant-garde or not at the Orbiting HQ. One side put it that the avant-gard is timeless and indeed we are most avant, and especially gard. The other stated in no uncertain terms that the term relates to an artistic movement that is itself now historical. Then we just agreed to carve butter into shapes for the next video (for "You Dairy Creatures, Convince Me Of Hell") and move on.

Thank you to the Edgar Allen Poets for checking us out and writing. They also shall have an invite to the Nasty Christmas Party. Nasty, Out.

Monstruosa is on the Sickest and Dopest playlist


Always nice to be put on a playlist. This time it's Monstruosa on the Sickest and Dopest playlist.

Growl, now released


GROWL, the August EP release by 9 o'clock Nasty is now available. More playful riots and diversions into groove-whimsy. With each release the distinctive New Wave of Garage sound of Nasty comes into sharper focus.

You can download the songs from our free download area, or watch them on YouTube. Many other ways of playing them are shown in the links below. Please do make a noise on social media if you like them. Nasty Noise.


Sunday 8 August 2021



Available at > YouTube | Amazon Music | Spotify | Apple Music

Monstruosa is the lead track from "Growl," the August 2021 EP by 9 o'clock Nasty. A tight, twisted snarl to shout, scream and exhale to.

Listening Notes

It's been a long time. Long. You exhale. You want to carry on. There are one million reasons to. People. Things. Places. Songs. Songs like the one that is playing now. But it used to be so much more fun. Call the cab now. Call for the lift home now. Don't wait another minute. If you overstay a heartbeat more you will sink to regret. Leaving now is a choice. It is control. Seize that control.

The cab is like a timewarp. The city sleeps in neon and slunken forms shamble through the rain. You remember that song. The 9 o'clock Nasty song that is perfect for this moment. You consider asking the driver to put it on, but there is only an antique AM radio in the dashboard and a cassette player, like a broken mouth.

You remember. You dig cold hands into your pockets and in the deepest recess, there it is. The D90 tape. Yes, this is it.

"Driver, put this fucking song on right now or I will puke on the seats."

Sing Along

Monstruosa, take me home 

Saturday 7 August 2021

Walkman Walk featured on AlterIndie playlist


Walkman Walk is on the AlterIndie playlist along with many other fine songs on Spotify.

Walkman Walk


Available at > YouTube | Amazon Music | Spotify | Apple Music

Walkman Walk is the second track from "Growl," the August 2021 EP by 9 o'clock Nasty. You can walk away from almost anything. Except being left behind. 

Listening Notes

Find somewhere busy. It helps. Surround yourself with the flow of humanity. A high street. An airport. Rush hour commuters. Be the rock in the flow. Hold steady as they pass you by. 

If you stay there long enough, really stay there and do not waver, then the one you want to see will pass by. You may wait weeks. Years. Probably best to think carefully where to wait. 

You can act surprised. Have a witty one-line ready. Just don't tell them how much you want them back.

This is the song to listen to in those aching, crippling hours.

Sing Along

I fell in love with a travelogue

I flew in a book

Wanting you back, is a kind of freedom

Walkman Walkman Walk

Hold Your Breath & Count to Nought

Gameboy Gameboy Play

Think of Things to Make You Stay

Out on the precipice

Life goes on

Wanting you back, is my only freedom. 


Friday 6 August 2021

"Less than 1000 Followers"Review Growl: 'alt-art garage music'


@JPGChief  has a good thing going with a whole raft of blog posts, playlists and a general firestorm of activity, so it's great to know they took the time to listen to Growl and put some thoughts together. It's a really good review and we're very happy with it at the Orbiting HQ. We shall invite him to our "What Time Is Christmas?" party.


I won’t lie to you, I’ve encountered with a quite interesting work by this British band. A three piece EP of alt-art garage music. I didn’t even know that existed! But it does, and, well, it’s something to appreciate closely.

We'd been trying to push the idea of a New Wave of Garage, we even have a group on Facebook ready to open up, but Alt-Art-Garage is a good lable. 

Monstuosa is a grarage-rock song. Pure, simple and direct.

Walkman Walk is artful but short and has that garage sensibility.

Big Fish in a Pool of Piss most definitely exists in a quirk-twist Alt on top of Art world!

To answer the question about whether Big Fish is political. Yes, with a small P. Every day we watch aqua-gammons of small stature puffing themselves up to be super-sized, while the real predator gammons, the Alpha-Gammons watch on scratching their arses with gold coins and discarded false teeth.

Big Fish is however not a self-improvement song. Most of our songs are, but this one isn't. Our sincere advice to those that find themselves living in a shitty pool is not to become the biggest fish in it. EVOLVE. Climb out of the pool of piss and live on dry land. We hope all goldfish-listeners to the song understand this.

Monstruosa on the Experimental Punk playlist


Monstruosa has been listed on the rather wonderful Experimental Punk playlist on Spotibobs.

Big Fish (In a Pool of Piss)


Available at > YouTube | Amazon Music | Spotify | Apple Music

Big Fish (In a Pool of Fish) is the third track from "Growl," the August 2021 EP by 9 o'clock Nasty. Not all gammon live on dry land, some are aquatic, but many are not the predators they hoped to grow up to be.

Listening Notes

You put your towel on the last beach lounger by the swimming pool. Third row from the front, fierce sunshine until 2pm and then stygian black shade until bedtime. The smell of raw chlorine is painful and if those two small children don't stop screaming sometime soon, well words will be spoken. You've read this paperback before. It is a comfort. 

There are ten hours to go before the respite of a walk in the dusk, fried food looking at the waves and that cold fresh beer. The ten minutes of pleasure before the regret catches up with you. It always does on the end.

Pop in the headphones. 

Feel the restless burn on your chest and forehead. The savage ache on the back of your neck. Overhead you can hear the rumble of a jet fucking with the clouds. Breathe it in deep. Even the chemical smell is the scent of leisure. Now press play. Close your eyes and let the Nasty wash over you.

Sing Along

It's No Fun Swimming In a Shitty Pool

If you're gonna live in a pool of piss

Be the Big fish 


Thursday 5 August 2021

The First "Growl" Review is in from Find No Enemy, and it's a scorcher


Growl is released this weekend and we shared it with a number of blogs and music-sites in the hopes of reviews. The first is in from Find No Enemy (which is a great read). 

We won't reproduce it here, please do head over to the site and see for yourself - music review sites need readers just as much as new bands need listeners, but we will share and respond to a couple of the points made for those with fingers too heavy to clickety-click.

The Leicester based rock outfit are a smorgasbord of subgenres ranging from abrasive garage rock to lo-fi synth indie rock.

Pete Brock would call us a kaldtbord but then that's Norwegian ancestry for you. (Also cool to get a Swedish reference in the same week we discovered Molosser a truly awesome band from Uråsa), but this is a summary of what we're doing that is ten times better than our own attempts to describe ourselves.  Expect to see a variation appearing on everything we write from now on...

That beating sense of urgency as they belt 'Monstruosa, TAKE ME HOME'  will stay in your head long after the song's closure.

Monstruosa is very different from the smoothness of Unspool My Heart, and very much more an obvious "Rock stomper" but Kartik's take is exactly right - again, here are two vocal lines battling it out in a lot of our songs, in this case the fury and the resignation.

On 'Walkman Walk', a punchy and groovy bassline serves as the centrepiece. The vocals here are almost backgrounded, letting the bass take the spotlight. 

Well in a band with two bass-players (both of whom play bass in the song) that's hardly surprising.

Monday 2 August 2021

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The Quick Pitch

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The Longer Why and Wherefore

To reach an audience we depend on social media. Over our first two months we've gained a good number of people interested in what we do and we hope to keep building that momentum, because we want to reach as many people with our music as we can and surprise and delight a little.

Social media is however a capricious beast. Recently a band we know and love had their main social media account deleted and all their content, and more importantly that network of interested people taken away because a moderation bot took exception to a photo. It has made us realise that although we work across several platforms, we want to build something a bit more solid of our own.

So we want to build up a list of friendly contacts and write them a letter every month. It will have band news, odd snippets, some more mad capers from the real and fictional characters that are haunting both Koala Studios and the orbiting HQ, and access to music we haven't released yet. We're currently sitting on a lot of unreleased material and we'd like to share it with people that care.

So please do sign up. There is not hidden agenda. We have no interest in acting like dicks, we will use your email address responsibly, respect your privacy and not bug you with nonsense. The incessant stupids we will save for social media, where we hope it entertains you.

Nasty, out.

Sunday 1 August 2021

OnlyFans Gong Suspension


9 o'clock Nasty and their prodigious fanbase were in turmoil last night after the shock decision by OnlyFans to suspend the band's newly created account on some made up nonsense.

Donna McDonna, ace attorney of the Ding Patriarchy, fresh from springing DJ Dirty Boy from the arms of the law, is now on the case, vowing the blaze a trail of mortal legal terror across the heartland of the internet.

The offending gong

OnlyFans, a service that allows artists to monetise content to their public, took the action unilaterally, following a complaint regarding the use of Gongs in the first of three 'highly sexualised' music videos that were made available for £5.99 each on the platform by the 9 o'clocks. It seems the consistent use of Gongs is in breach of rule 118 of the ghoulish money making jamsite.

The money shot

The section gaining the greatest controversy, featuring Ted Pepper applying Kohl Eye-Shadow from the surface of the brass percussion whang unsettled early viewers and the pink-bits reseller simply had to act.

Spoke-singer Pete Brock commented in a harmony of three parts

We understand the requirement (requireeement) (reeeeequireeement) for the platform to ensure its highly arbitrary (arbitrareeee) (arbitrareeee) content moderation (ion) (ION) (eeeeeeON) policies are rigidly and capriciously applied, but we ask for a totally baseless exception to be (made, MADE, MAAAYYYDDE). I have (hav) (AV) a series of artful nudes photographed from a drone over Bradgate Park ready for release (ease) (EASE) (eeeeese) and they'll get stale.

OnlyFans were not approached to comment on this article.